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About Us

In 2003 Dan Hopkins made an attempt to revive the once thriving Seven Oaks chicken farm. He believed the answer to success was to order some rare genetically altered roosters from Katmandu. All was well until these roosters experienced tremendous growth. The 20,000 chickens started disappearing daily with no signs of FOWL play as if they never existed. As the hens vanished the roosters grew. Dan was sure these mutant roosters were to blame so he launched a massive attack to annihilate these super roosters. He immediately was mauled by overgrown yellow feathered ninjas ripping all of his hair and teeth out.

When released from the hospital he returned to Seven Oaks only to find less than 5000 chickens. He now declared war mounting assaults using machetes, knives, guns, poison, attack dogs and night vision weapons to no avail. All this done was to piss them off!!! His antics earned him the Name of “CHICKEN DAN” from the local Hollis residents. Soon Chicken Dan had no chickens only these damn six foot tall mutant BIG BIRDS. One final attack was launched to rid these evil creatures but the outcome was grim. With beaks and spurs they ripped Chicken Dan to shreds. Some wounds were so deep they actually tore out part of his voice box!

After a year of recovery Chicken Dan returned to the chicken houses only to find them totally empty. Finally he was rid of this resident evil or so he thought. In the fall of the year they returned and his battle resumed only now he had an army of 800 helping him exterminate these vicious killers. The birds survived!!! Now every fall they come back and Chicken Dan’s militants wage all-out war on them in the chicken house on wagons in the field and on foot searching the woods. Last year over 13,000 brave individuals joined the search and attacks but the birds survived.

This year more help is needed come to the Haunted Chicken House. CHICKEN DAN WANTS YOU!

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